The Author Revolution® Podcast

Embracing Vulnerability: Stephanie Fee on Authentic Storytelling and Personal Transformation

• Carissa Andrews • Season 1 • Episode 250

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Ever wondered how vulnerability and authenticity can transform your writing and your life? Join me, Carissa Andrews, as I celebrate our milestone 250th episode with the amazing Stephanie Fee, founder and developmental narrative artist at the Wild Larynx. Stephanie shares her powerful journey from a young reader inspired by her grandmother's wisdom to a narrative artist who helps authors create raw, genuine stories. Discover how embracing her true calling, even while managing a health and wellness startup, led to profound personal and professional transformation.

Stephanie and I delve into the deep impact of changing the stories we tell ourselves, especially in the indie author scene where pressures and limiting beliefs often reign. We open up about our own emotional struggles and triumphs, and discuss strategies for maintaining authenticity without losing our unique voices. From the significance of emotional connection in storytelling to the challenges of societal norms that discourage open expression, this episode is a heartfelt exploration of self-worth, resilience, and the healing power of narrative artistry.

Curious about the balance between AI and human creativity in writing? We tackle this modern conundrum, discussing how authors can harness AI tools like ChatGPT while preserving their authentic voice. Reflecting on the indie author industry's evolution, we highlight the shift towards sustainable writing practices, emphasizing the importance of intuition, real-life experiences, and authentic expression in crafting impactful literature. Don't miss this inspiring episode filled with insights and practical advice to empower your author journey. Tune in and start your own author revolution today!

Are you an author at a crossroads, feeling stuck & unfulfilled in your author career? Do you know deep down it's time for a change, but you’re unsure of the next step?

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Go forth and start your author revolution!

Carissa Andrews:

Welcome to the Author Revolution podcast, where change is not just embraced, it's celebrated. I'm Carissa Andrews, international bestselling author, indie author coach and your navigator through the ever-evolving landscape of authorship. Are you ready to harness the power of your mind and the latest innovations in technology for your writing journey? If you're passionate about manifesting your dreams and pioneering new writing frontiers, then you're in the perfect place. Here we merge the mystical woo of writing with the exciting advancements of the modern world. We dive into the realms of mindset, manifestation and the transformative magic that occurs when you believe in the impossible. We also venture into the world of futuristic technologies and strategies, preparing you for the next chapter in your author career. Every week, we explore new ways to revolutionize your writing and publishing experience, from AI to breakthrough thinking. This podcast is your gateway to a world where creativity meets innovation. Whether you're penning your first novel or expanding your literary empire, whether you're a devotee of the pen or a digital storyteller, this podcast is where your author revolution gains momentum. So join me in this journey to continue growth and transformation. It's time to redefine what it means to be an author in today's dynamic world.

Carissa Andrews:

This is the Author Revolution Podcast, and your author revolution starts now. Hey there, revolutionaries, welcome to a very special episode of the Author Revolution Podcast our 250th episode. Can you believe it? Not only have we hit this incredible milestone, but we've also crossed 250,000 downloads. Holy cow. I am beyond grateful for each and every one of you for tuning in, whether you've been with me since the beginning or if you're just joining the revolution. I am just so excited, so glad, that you're here and now we've got an exciting episode lined up for you.

Carissa Andrews:

Today I'm chatting with the amazing Stephanie Fee, founder and developmental narrative artist at the Wild Larynx. Stephanie's work is about helping authors stand out and share their wildly authentic stories. We dive deep into authenticity of voice and how to heal through writing. Trust me, you don't want to miss this one. Let's get to it. Well, hi, stephanie, welcome to the Author Revolution podcast. I'm really excited for our conversation today. It's going to be a fun one. But before we get started, could you kick things off by telling my audience a little bit about yourself, about what you do, and kind of give them a little bit of a taste of what's to come here?

Stephanie Fee:

kind of give them a little bit of a taste of what's to come here. Sure Well, I retitled myself as a developmental narrative artist. That is a combination of ghostwriting, co-writing and writing coaching, if you will. So I fell upon sort of my own unique blend of modalities that I felt that I could offer people and kind of lean into their strengths so that they could write books and create stories while not feeling like they have to do the things that are holding them back in some way, if that makes sense. So combination of things, but really helping people develop their narrative in nonfiction books. So memoirs, business books and personal development sometimes a blend of of those things and bringing them to life in a in a super true, genuine, raw way raw way.

Carissa Andrews:

That's so cool. How did you get into this? What was your first starting point about? Obviously, you had to come to a conclusion of. This is what I want to be called. This is how I want to blend these things together, but what brought you to this point?

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, first I was a reader. My grandmother when I was a small child said read, read, read. The more you read, the better you'll be able to write. And if you can write, read, read, read. The more you read, the better you'll be able to write. And if you can write, you can accomplish anything in life. Of course, as a kid, you are like is this true? But I did. I was an avid reader. My mother read to us as little babies, so reading was always a part of my existence. The library was such a place that I loved to go as a kid still is and then that turned into actually realizing that she was right.

Stephanie Fee:

So certain things in life that we ignore that writing can help us through. I had to finance my own college and get myself through school and finance everything myself and work pretty hard odd jobs and things like that to get through, and I had found myself a couple of credits short of graduating college and there was no money for me. There was no one who could help me, and so I wrote a compelling letter to the dean of the school and he wrote me back and let me graduate a few credits short, wow, and I realized that my grandma was right If you know how to create compelling narratives and engage people, then so much more becomes possible in your life. So it was really instilled in me at a young age. I dreamt of becoming a writer, but I dropped that dream on the floor when the world comes in and sort of says, like that's not practical, you can't, you know, live a good life in that way. You'll be suffering.

Stephanie Fee:

So I dropped that dream on the floor and I didn't pick it up until just a few years ago. I was working on a startup that I had founded in the health and wellness sector, which was a massive, pivot, complete and utter life change from what I had been doing, and I realized that if I didn't engage with things outside of that business, that I would become unhealthy and be so attached that if that thing didn't work out, maybe I would feel like that thing not working out was a statement about me being worthless. And I thought what do I like to do? What do I love to do? Well, I love to write. So I just started writing more regularly, sharing it very openly. I'm not a person who goes in like a perfectionist mindset or who won't share something that's rough. It doesn't bother me. I don't know why that's the case, but it's true. And so I just started doing that and a woman came to me who I had met her four years before, or three years before, in a totally different context, at a hotel in New York, and she had told me her life story in that moment and we became connected through the pandemic, while she told me she was writing a book Out of pure love and interest and passion and love for her story. I was like, oh, I can't wait to read your book. So she sent me the manuscript which is something that ghostwriters do, by the way, that a lot of people don't understand is sometimes we actually receive a full manuscript and then our job is to come in and really help develop that and say, you know, get the author to maybe reveal certain things or or position the story differently so that it really is more effective or authentic or what have you.

Stephanie Fee:

So she came to me with this manuscript and she asked me for feedback. I knew that, the value of honest feedback. I knew that that was really important because of my past work history. And you know people say, oh, it's great, there's no fervor, there's no friction, there's nothing to get better. So I wrote her just constructively feedback. And then she wrote me back and said I don't know how to do that. And I said, oh, do you want me to help? And it was all just never in my life what I thought I would get paid for this, right, right. And then she asked me how much that would cost and I said, nothing, I'm just doing this because I, I care about you, I love your story and and this is fun for me. And then she came back to me again and said what would it cost to hire you as my ghostwriter?

Stephanie Fee:

And I literally like went to Google.

Carissa Andrews:

Wait a minute. What is this?

Stephanie Fee:

Some things about ghostwriting, but not, honestly, not that much, which. So I just Googled it and then I was like, okay, I have a belief in myself that I'll put I'll go all in. So I wasn't. I wasn't shy about asking for compensation. That was in line with what a ghostwriter makes. Cause I was like I'll figure it out, I know, and maybe I'll add something different, because I really have no idea at the end of the day.

Stephanie Fee:

So, yeah, so it was really cool because I went in with a sense of, like complete naivete, which I think for me is really important at the onset of something, so that I can, like, listen to my own intuition. And I just asked myself, like if I were going to hire someone, I were going to pay them this kind of money. What would I want to have happen, how would I want to be treated, how would I want this process to go, and and, of course, talk to her about that. But and then I went from there and it was so healing for her. She processed deeper her stories than she would have on her own, and I think that's another thing.

Stephanie Fee:

It doesn't have to be a ghost writer, but what I call a narrative partner will help you go to a level that is very hard to do on your own, if you don't have the right person to say, hey, let's talk about this thing, your deepest, darkest secrets you know, and and then they don't always have to go into the book, let's just get them out so you can process that. And I call that like I'm stored to story, like storing all of these things in our system that we really want to say, we really want to get out there, but we're so freaking scared, and so this process has been sort of this really interesting culmination of all these random experiences that I didn't know why.

Carissa Andrews:

You know, health wine I mean wine has nothing to do with storytelling in some way, unless you really need some in order to tell the story.

Stephanie Fee:

Right and a lot of like you know, a lot of that world I worked in that industry was very much storytelling, because I worked with fine wines, with beautiful vineyards in Italy, and family stories and history and all of that stuff. So, so, yeah. So then after that I I someone said, well, you're a writer. Then, cause you're, you just got paid for a job. And I was like, no, no, not yet, like that's not, I don't deserve that yet.

Stephanie Fee:

And then I thought, okay, I'm going to say this out in the world and it felt really good and really natural and it felt more natural than anything I've ever done in my life. And then just randomly, another book came and then everything stalled and I was like I want to do more of this, so I guess I have to actually go open up myself to find it. And yeah, and then I worked really, really hard to get a portfolio and get experience and I did lower my fee at a certain point so that I could get that experience. And, man, I learned so much disappointments, you know, hardship and came out of it, yeah, here today.

Carissa Andrews:

So so interesting sorry it wasn't that, but yeah, it sounds so interesting to me because to me it sounds like you are like a narrative healer instead of just like someone who does like the narrative artistry, because not many people have the innate you. You know there are obviously like different archetypes or different like the Enneagrams or you know whatever where they have those strengths to be able to pull certain aspects out of people, and not many people have that kind of level of empathy to be able to help people dig into those darker areas or even just that, the areas that are like stored emotion, even if they're not necessarily dark. That's a real gift. I mean being able to do that and being able to pull that out and help them, not only like I love that stored to story part of it, but like be able to process through it, and I would think that on a on a certain level you're you're kind of doing it along with them in your own way, right, like you're feeling your own things being released.

Stephanie Fee:

That's super cool, right, like you're feeling your own things being released. That's super cool. I mean, vulnerability breeds vulnerability and I'm like an open book. I've always actually wanted, not anymore, but to be a more protected person, to be like, oh, I wish I didn't tell everyone how I feel. I wish I didn't cry whether I'm happy, sad, you know whatever moved in public. You know, I wish that I can relate to that For so long. It would be like you're emotional, you know, and stuff. And then now I'm like, yeah, I'm emotional, yes, and that's what makes the work that I do so powerful. And I've healed.

Stephanie Fee:

I really healed myself in many ways through through narrative art. So when I was in the wine industry, at a certain point I had a. My body was really plagued with I still don't know what, but I was. I had, I had put on weight, I had felt a lot of fatigue, I was drained from the consumption in that industry and I decided that I needed to figure out what was at the root of my problem. And I discovered that it was the stories that I was like.

Stephanie Fee:

I was telling myself whether it was from my childhood, you know abuse, trauma, certain things that had happened that had then resonated into like self-worth and you know what I was like sort of reaching for every day, Right, and I was like reaching to prove something and that wasn't healthy for me anymore was like reaching to prove something and that wasn't healthy for me anymore. So I did a lot of like self discovery through just exploring, like so many different modalities, both like Western and a client of mine says logical and illogical, which I really love.

Carissa Andrews:

I love that I get a lot of like woo and scientific, so I agree both.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, exactly I think science is almost like woo right, because it's fascinating and I believe it should be taken so seriously. And then I also believe that existential you know meaning and purpose and why are we here and spiritual existence should be taken seriously as well.

Stephanie Fee:

So anyway I you know there were certain things like you know Viktor Frankl's uh logotherapy and you know um internal family systems and different things like that that then I started writing and I started saying, I started talking to myself differently and that's when I began narrative artistry. But I didn't know that until now, or, you know, later. Later I started realizing that. So I am not a healer. All I am is a person who has done the work myself and can be there to facilitate the process of people finding their own route forward through actually using their voice for good and for their own empowerment, and replacing the, the things that hold you back you know the language that holds you back with language that moves you forward. Right, that's so good.

Carissa Andrews:

We talk a lot about that in on this podcast actually, where we talk about, like, the stories we're telling ourselves, because in the indie author industry who is typically my audience, you know there's a lot of that, like you did, where you dropped this idea of wanting to be an author because it wasn't practical, it wasn't going to earn you money, it wasn't going to whatever.

Carissa Andrews:

So this lack and poverty mentality is very pertinent and permeates, like, this whole industry, and so it's been kind of my journey as someone who I guess has to speak up against that, my little rumble self, to be able to like, no, we can tell different stories and as we tell different stories, we take different actions. And then, when we take different actions, we see a different result and it's just interesting to me like, as, as we do heal ourselves, like we can help and guide the way to heal others. Right, we can be that, that shining example that just lets them to let them know that it's possible to take on new things or to be, to be vulnerable when maybe they've been closed off, or like there's so many ways that that can come about. It's just really, it's really awesome.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, thanks.

Carissa Andrews:

Yeah, yeah.

Stephanie Fee:

Privilege for sure.

Carissa Andrews:

For sure. Yeah, oh my gosh. And so that all ties back to this idea of authenticity, right, and I know that that's a very big thing for you. So what does being authentic mean to you in the context of writing, and how has it really influenced your professional work? I mean, I think we've touched on it a little bit, but I'm just curious to know what your concept is there.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah Well, I mean, at the core it's the truth, right, and so in an authorship, I mean my belief is that or my way, or my opinion, or the way that I work with others, is that we deep dive into your truth when you want in certain realms, right, and then there's the truth, and then there's like boundaries, and if you don't want to share your story on every facet because you don't have to to be authentic, what you need to do is share it. Whatever you're sharing in its entirety, in my opinion, needs to be from the truest part of yourself. And you know, all of our truths may be, may be not true to someone else, if that makes sense. So it's really an inner job, you know. And falling asleep every night before bed and saying like I'm right with myself, I'm right with the story I'm telling I feel good about you know, this is what I experienced and this was my truth. And on the level that you want to share, of course, the deeper, the deeper you share, the more engaged people will be, because everyone has a story to tell, everyone has things that are hidden and that they're afraid to talk about. I was just talking to someone yesterday about, you know, the shame of his that that he has as a parent because his parent, his child, was, you know, sexually traumatized outside of their care when he was young, and how that that shame feeling can even be, you know, something really hard to share with, just like anybody, because the worry of judgment and things like that.

Stephanie Fee:

But in my experience what happens is when we're authentic, it's uncomfortable until it's not, and then the rewards start to come and you're like, oh, who's coming with me? Oh, the most amazing people. Everything starts to fall in line with your life as what your purpose and what you're after and what you want your life to be. The actions line up. You know, that's kind of something I work on every day and you have to just find the kinks of where you're. You know where you need an adjustment and and the adjustment and keep going. And you know sometimes I'm like that wasn't authentic at all of me. Okay, I need an adjustment. I'm not perfect and it's Okay, I need an adjustment.

Stephanie Fee:

I'm not perfect and it's takes a level of self-awareness to understand what the truth is for you, right? So the simple thing like saying no problem, it's okay. Especially you're from Minnesota and so am I, this sort of Minnesota nice aspect of which is just people saying like, don't worry about it, and then people walk away and they're like did you say that?

Stephanie Fee:

you know they're actually, they're actually not okay with it you know right, like authenticity in that way would be like oh yeah, I'm just gonna be politely honest and not not be like oh, it's okay, and just say you know, thanks for the apology and move on, or something like that.

Carissa Andrews:

Right, that's really hard. It's ingrained in Minnesotans to be like, if you don't have something nice to say, just don't say anything at all.

Stephanie Fee:

That's uncomfortable for most of us, yeah, and it's not because people are mean, it's because they're uncomfortable with the truth. That's a very common thing for so many people.

Carissa Andrews:

But yeah, yeah. Or uncomfortable with confrontation too, because sometimes it will lead to a confrontation. If you're like, really, that's how you're going to do it, like really, yeah, I think in authenticity.

Stephanie Fee:

authenticity when you have confrontation, you know I'll feel like a friction inside, like an anxious, because I, you know confrontation's never gonna be fun for me um but I believe in hopefully confronting things and once I kind of like breathe through that and come from a place of like love, honestly and understanding, even if I'm not happy about something, the communication I put forward is like so effective and there's this new understanding. And if there's not, I'm okay with myself. And again go to the pillow at night and you're like, did I do a good job with what I had today? Yes, like did I do a good job with what I had today? Yes, when we're not authentic, I think that's when the dialogue gets nasty or or ineffective.

Carissa Andrews:

Eventually it'll blow up like you kind of like, hold on to that resentment or something for a while and then eventually it'll still. It'll still come out.

Stephanie Fee:

It just won't be as constructive as it could have been yes, and we all have those moments and but it's sort of like, can can? We have hardly any. I mean, that's my goal is to have like none Right.

Carissa Andrews:

But yeah, yeah.

Stephanie Fee:

But if I do, I just. You just got a course correct and keep getting better.

Carissa Andrews:

How do you work with your authors, then, to be able to help them Like, because it almost sounds like in some ways? So I have a friend. Her name's Tammy Tyree. She's a board certified clinical hypnotherapist and in some of our programs we have hypnotherapy to help authors dig into some of that subconscious programming, to release it, to rewrite it, to whatever, and sometimes they don't even realize that there are these deeper things that are going on. So how do you help those authors when you're, when you're trying to get to that real meat of the story, the real authentic part of the story that they haven't quite maybe even realized is there? How do you help them to bring that out?

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, well, that's, I think, nourishing human intelligence. So I always say there's nothing artificial here. And the four sort of realms of human intelligence that I focus on are spiritual, and I don't mean religious. I mean what is the meaning, purpose of your existence? And you can go religious if you want whatever open space.

Stephanie Fee:

Physical is the first one, because if our physical bodies are stressed, tense, et cetera, how can we open up authentically and receive the power of our intuition and the knowing and the confidence, and emotional and intellectual. So what do you have to offer expertise-wise, what do you know already and how can we harness that knowledge? But again, first and emotions should be moving. So I kind of do my own little you know, without telling my clients. I sort of they know that these of these four elements I call them pillars, whatever you want to call them of human intelligence I didn't make this up or anything, but I'll invite them to.

Stephanie Fee:

If I sense that they're stressed, I'll say your physical intelligence needs some attention. You do not want stress in your book. So when you're stressed, if we have a session, as an example, I'll invite you to either come on, we can do some breathing and do some a modality to get you settled in and then and then engage, or let's wait a week and then what do you think you can do to take care of that this week? You know, obviously for me sleep is number one, and so I'll just, you know, ask how are you sleeping? Things like that, how are you feeling today? What's your stress level?

Stephanie Fee:

If you were to say from one to 10, so that I understand, like, on what level, to also engage them in going deep, maybe then we have more of a conversation about, you know, the business of their book or something. So it's really personalized and and it depends on the person and it depends on their history with you know, if they love to meditate, I'm like, great, let's do, you know, let's do some, some of that, and I offer them tools and things. But to dig in and get them to be vulnerable and authentic, those four areas have to be constantly sort of recognized and fine-tuned. Does that clarify for you?

Carissa Andrews:

It does, but for my audience, what are the four areas? So you said physical, I'm guessing spiritual, Physical spiritual, emotional and intellectual. Okay, that's what I was thinking.

Stephanie Fee:

And there are like a ton if you google like human intelligence right you can find uh, so many uh forms, but those keep it very simple and I think are very key in in the process.

Carissa Andrews:

If you ever find that it's hard to get authors to be like really raw or share that deeper stuff intentionally or when they've been working with you, when they start to let go of some of the like just said, the stress or the the over overwhelmments. I guess sometimes do they eventually get past that, like I they must, but like is it typically hard at first not really I'm.

Stephanie Fee:

I'm pretty transparent and honest.

Stephanie Fee:

Right away, before anybody works with me, I set up kind of the boundaries of the relationship and that this is collaborative, it's a partnership and I'm going to be your partner and you can lean on me.

Stephanie Fee:

And even if I mean I've written some highly some books from academics right, that are, it takes incredible amount of research and they are brilliant people and they come wanting to share what it is. They do their expertise and I tell them we have to uncover some other layers, whether it's through other people's stories that you've heard or your own stories or something, to get the reader engaged in the process. And even with that, I mean it's so cool to see people who are so brainy tell me a story about you know, a patient or a student or something, and see their eyes kind of glaze over because they feel something. And I'm like, yes, yes, that's magic. You know, you've got to make people feel something and if you don't feel anything, they're not going to feel anything and you can be so smart, but if you don't, if the book doesn't have any emotion in it, it's it's not gonna.

Stephanie Fee:

If you don't, if the book doesn't have any emotion in it, it's it's not gonna. It's not gonna stand the test of time. So I I don't find it to be hard, strangely, I guess.

Carissa Andrews:

Yeah, people tell me they feel really comfortable with me, I guess, so I think that's part of it, yeah yeah, well, I think it has to do with I've heard this anyways like people, people with higher vibration for whatever reason others are just so aware of that in a subconscious level that they do Like you're standing at the grocery store and people are telling you their life story and you're like, okay, like what's happening here, but all right, go with it and it's fine.

Carissa Andrews:

But yeah, it's like there is something about that. I was sitting outside once in my yard and I had I was just writing I can't remember which book it was probably my third or fourth book at the time and I was sitting on my picnic table and we had just moved into this house and one of my neighbors across the street she was like in her nineties at the time. She used to walk the block all the time. She had to come over and sit down next to me on the stool and be like you know what, I don't know what it is about you. Every time you're out here I keep feeling like I have to come talk to you. And we sat in the backyard talking for like three hours about her life or whatever, and it's like it's just. It's very interesting how people just sense that they really do. There's like this magnetism that happens, yeah, that's so cool.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, I love that as an example because, also for for authors or the work you know that I do with them, anything is even just our own well-being, like just getting out and engaging with people, and that doesn't, you know, sometimes I get it. Socialization can be overwhelming and we all get fatigued and especially, depending on you know your level of introversion or extroversion, right when you engage with the world, you know it's like the humor and the emotion and like all of these things come through, and so I I think that it's really important to get out into the world and and actually explore some alternative ways in doing so um one of the people I I so brilliant to me is david sidaris.

Stephanie Fee:

Um, do you ever, david sidaris? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he's so funny and he takes the most. He even takes like the most painful parts of his life, of his family, just these nuances, you know, like cleaning up garbage on the side of the highway. You know, with his his uh, I think he's his husband, he's just like and it just makes you crack up and also tear up and and it's because he's engaging in in these things in life, like the woman coming on your porch, you don't know what she's gonna say or share with you or what you might learn or what, how you might laugh or something quirky or whatever that shows up in your life so it's like just pay attention and see.

Stephanie Fee:

You know that's all great material to share stories and connect, even if it's not in a book or formally.

Carissa Andrews:

Yeah yeah, because you never know like and sometimes it's like you'll be having a conversation with a friend I've done this multiple times where that person is so different from who you are that their stories that they share inspire ideas of what you could create for a character in a fiction, novel or whatever. This has happened to me where one of my characters has literally I've like lifted and like just transposed and like the almost the exact same scenario because of some of the crazy things friends have done, and then you know that now they become immortalized as one of my characters in a book or whatever, because but it's not anything that I would have done myself or anything I would have even maybe thought of, because it's just so out there, you know, and it just goes to show every, every person has such a different perspective and way to look at the world and sometimes behave in the world that you just you do. You have to kind of go, wow, okay, that that was very authentic and you can tell, because I would never have done that.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah yeah, and when you, when you pay attention closely, like kind of like mindful conversations and and you look at like little things, right, like someone's eyebrows are combed up and sticking this way, you know or their glasses are crooked, or you know their collar is popped or whatever it is, it's like those are details that create, you know, nuances and more layers as well, and more character, I guess you know. Yeah, just notice the unique distinction of everyone. Yeah, it's something really incredible to me, like how we're all different absolutely.

Carissa Andrews:

I grew up with a brother who had a brain tumor and so for me, very early on, seeing how different people could have different perspectives of the same situation, like he and I were so vastly different because that tumor, that, like I could look at something and be absolutely frustrated with it and he would just laugh at it because to him what was going on was actually funny, you know, or or whatever, and I'm just like it's so wild. Like you know, even as a kid, I'm like what, how can you be so chill about this? Or you know, whatever it was, you know, and it's from that point forward it was very much a. I loved the concept of how different perceptions are, can all stare at the same thing, and it's like you're gonna get all of them are different perceptions of the same thing.

Stephanie Fee:

It's, it's so cool yeah, and and that and is. Are you saying that? That's you believe that his perspective was different?

Carissa Andrews:

because he was, he had a brain tumor and all, all of the things like he he would have had a different, like different perspective anyway, but just the way that like he could look at anything for the most part and just be completely like in this joyful, happy state.

Carissa Andrews:

You know what I mean yeah, so it's, it's very, very him to be in that place and for me, like as a teenager at that point or whatever, I would have been like, oh, like really whatever. Yeah, it's, it's very interesting though, but his, his um difference because it was, it was such a stark difference between when he went, like before he had his surgeries and then after his surgeries it definitely altered the way he presented himself or his personality. So because of that too, it was like such a interesting thing to witness as a kid. That perception then became something that was really fascinating to me.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and to consider the lens that other people are is are maybe looking through is so good for us because, yeah, someone like your brother, like he's seeing the world through these eyes of just like gratitude for you know, being alive, perhaps for just yeah and it can give us a lot of uh.

Stephanie Fee:

It can actually help change our behavior, help change the world. In fact, in my opinion, and sometimes when I'm with people and they're telling me a story about you know something bad that happened as an example, right, maybe they're in, you know, they're just talking to me and while maybe they came out of it better than before, maybe they're venting a little bit in a session like this person did this or that. So sometimes I'll I'll say and, and sometimes I'll joke and be like look, I'm not asking you this to to rub you the wrong way, but do you think this person could have been thinking this or that, or what do you think they could have been thinking like? Why?

Carissa Andrews:

do you?

Stephanie Fee:

think that you know what are the possible, what are the possible possibilities of what they why they could have behaved or said that thing or whatever they did, instead of they did that because I know right do we like, let's explore the possible. You know perspectives, and then I mean, if we're able to know and actually sit down with someone, then I mean, then we know.

Carissa Andrews:

But I think there's also a way to be able to have more empathy when you do sit down, because there's there probably is a nuance there that you were not even considering, like my husband and I, when we're driving, if we we live in this tiny little town in central Minnesota and in the summertime all the tourists come up and they have no idea how to read speed limit signs at all, I swear to God. And so then you're sitting there, going, come on, and then we both have this thing where it's like if you're getting frustrated, it's okay. So what if this is a grandma who's 90 and who is confused and doesn't know where she's going?

Carissa Andrews:

Or what if it's a 16 year old kid who just learned how to drive and he's scared to death, like it's like okay, I can back off of being frustrated a little bit, I guess.

Stephanie Fee:

Just drive behind them and do the thing you, yeah sure yeah, having so interesting compassionate place once we, and then maybe it's not a grandma, or maybe it's not a teenager maybe, it probably isn't right. It could just be some guy who's oblivious, it's fine it's better for us that we don't get upset, right, I mean yeah.

Carissa Andrews:

Yeah.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah.

Carissa Andrews:

Because otherwise you're just storing it in your own system, your own energy, and it's like, why? Like waste, yeah, yeah, what good is that going to do, other than maybe you can tell a good story about it at some point? I don't know For sure, oh goodness. Well, we're obviously living in an age of AI and technology kind of impacting the way that authors are writing or at least how they're planning. I teach it. I teach authors how to use like ChachiBT to be able to plan a series or to help them get out of their own head, because I think sometimes we really get stuck in what we think we already know and then our creativity gets blocked, and so using it as a springboard for creativity can be useful, but so many authors are very concerned about losing their authentic voice. Do you have any thoughts on AI or the digital trends that are happening right now and how authors can keep and maintain their authenticity?

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, I think you know we have to look at these things like these are inevitable advancements in technology that are happening and, like what you're doing, is there a positive way that I can use this?

Stephanie Fee:

Is there something that I can utilize from this to maybe leverage my time or my energy or, you know, if I'm stuck, get some ideas? So, but I think it's really important to disengage from technology, for concerted efforts of you know, creativity, to to harness creativity, to not become attached and reliant on that to write your book or tell your story, because I don't know about you, but I've, I've definitely tested AI and there's really no soul in AI. So it might, you know, be able to give you three points of I don't know some kind of information, right, um, but it it doesn't give you the story, it doesn't give you the essence of yourself. The only way we can do that is to detach from all of the overwhelm, tune in to ourselves, maybe have a partner or someone or writing group, whatever it is that you need to support you in expression and start to experiment. And I mean I also tell authors comparison is the thief of joy and that's uh, is that Rooseveltosevelt, I think.

Stephanie Fee:

I think it's teddy roosevelt, oh gosh I cannot remember on that one, I know this I've heard it before yeah yeah, I say it all the time, but having a little bit of a brain blip, so, but that if they're looking at what everybody else is writing and doing in a comparison type of way, it's going to prevent them from finding their voice and encouraging them to, like, step away from the computer, stop plugging stuff into chat, gpt and plug in to your life and in your life like you were talking about in the moment where the woman sits down on the porch with you, about in the moment where the woman sits down on the porch with you is potentially the moment where you come up with that realization.

Stephanie Fee:

Or you take care of your sleep hygiene and you wake up and you have the answer We've all had those moments right or you have the idea that's coming to fruition and you suddenly feel this rush of like yes, I know what I want to do, I know what I want to say. If we rely too much and get too distracted, it's just going to drain our creative abilities and everybody is creative. It is a whole process and so many people are like oh, you're creative, so you can do that. I'm like no, no, no, no, no, we all are here to be creative. Ai, focus on. You know, I put power powered or empowered by human intelligence on a lot of my posts on LinkedIn as an example, because I'm pro human intelligence. I'm not anti not wasting my time and energy on these negative things that are fear-based and scaring us to like we're not going to exist anymore.

Carissa Andrews:

You know, right, that is quite the yeah. It's so funny how people have this, that tendency to spiral out when something new comes in and you're just not quite sure. I mean, we did the same thing with eBooks. We did the same thing when the printing press came about.

Carissa Andrews:

It's like all sorts of things started. It's like we kind of go through these cycles and we haven't quite learned that eventually it will find its equilibrium. We, you know, we're still going to have to tap into our own creativity. I think even authors personally, who use chat gpt, if they want to use it effectively, they have to know their story already, because if they don't know their story, they're just relying on chat to come up with some sort of brilliance. For them it's going to be all over the place because there's not enough.

Carissa Andrews:

The only way that chat can really work for a creator is when there are parameters and when the prompts are put in place in a way that it understands what you're actually trying to get at.

Carissa Andrews:

You know what I mean and in order for that to happen, you have to understand your story.

Carissa Andrews:

You have to understand where you're going with it or the tone you're trying to incorporate, or the surprises you're kind of liking when we're teaching how to create your series plan and your outline for your four books, whatever it is.

Carissa Andrews:

We talk a lot about how you can prompt, about what way can I brainstorm with chat to be able to come up with ideas, and it's not necessarily to take the ideas that chat gives you, but it's to look at them and go okay, I kind of like elements of this and elements of this and you're actually using your own creativity to like, force it almost into a creative box in a sense, because creativity likes having boundaries and then you break out of those boundaries slightly. You know it's fun to play around with, and there are definitely people who are going all in with chat and letting it do its own thing, and I think you're right, there's a lack of a soul there, because they themselves don't even know what they're trying to get at. They don't know what they're trying to bring into the world or what is the whole point of this story in the first place. They're probably just doing it, trying to earn money very quickly, and sometimes I think they'll be surprised that that's not going to be very efficient.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, and it's probably not going to be as fulfilling as you might think as well.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, and I think you know it's like. It's like the way that you're describing the use of chat GPT is almost like as if you're having a conversation with someone, and so, if it's like the way that you're describing the use of chat, gpt is almost like as if you're having a conversation with someone, and so if it's like a brainstorming session or something, you know it's like use it for a brainstorming session is is. I've done that when I've been kind of like gosh, I have some, I don't know, I'm on the cusp of something and you know, kind of brainstorm through it and, like you said, it's like might not actually directly give you something, but it might ping, you know, something in your brain, just like when you're having a conversation with a friend. Well, different, because I think conversations with people are clearly different. But you know, yeah, I think that that's a interesting way to approach it and and and effective and just remembering, like you know, I think I mean, anyway, people come to me not not for turn and burn work, because I can't do it.

Stephanie Fee:

I won't do it. I'll do swift books. I say swift and I say in due time, because every author and every book has its time. Maybe we get that done in 90 days. I will not do sooner than that, and even that I'm like let's, let's let that breathe though, because you may have something in your life that you need to process during the process, and then we want to let that happen and come to life and take the time to honor the book and then the experience that you have in authorship and yeah, but you know I get this that this world wants like immediate satisfaction.

Carissa Andrews:

So weird, like in this, especially in the fiction, indie author industry, like there's this, this need or this drive to keep publishing as quickly as possible by a lot of authors, and it kind of started, you know, in the beginning, when you look at indie authorship, like Amanda Hawking kind of set the trend for that, and then there are actually other groups that have perpetuated that throughout the years. But we're kind of coming full circle to the point where people are like, yes, but you have to, if you're going to be in this, you have to do it sustainably. You have to create your own style, you have to know what's effective for you, what's feeling good to you. And so it's like I think you're right on the right spot, helping authors to remember that this is a process and it doesn't require a certain timeframe. It requires, like you, kind of tapping into yourself and your own intuition on when is this story, when is this nonfiction book? When is this memoir? Whatever it is supposed to wrap up, is it coming out in the way that it's meant to?

Carissa Andrews:

Because sometimes there are those, those layers to things that you, you know you're trying to force and you're butting up against. I personally I have done that where it's like I'm trying to get this chapter in and I'm like I know there's something I'm missing, but I don't know what it is. And you're like so irritated. And then you have a kid who's like mom, can we go watch owl house? And it's like why? But I tried to do this thing. And then finally you're like obviously I had to do is like disengage, watch, watch a show with my kids, spend some time, and now here it is okay, it can be easy.

Stephanie Fee:

I forgot yeah it's like a it's an energy game. It is it is and interruptions, though, are really challenging. It's like, know, we all have people and animals and you know things that come up, and when you're in the mode of writing, it's definitely like interruptions are like I don't know, but there is a oh my gosh. I'm going to do this again and forget who says this it might've been Ernest Hemingway with the idea that if you leave a piece of writing at the point where you're so excited to come back, that's really good.

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, and you're like I want to get back to it. It's like that book that you're reading that is so engaging you can't put it down, or the movie that you know you can't stop watching, so it's actually a healthy thing. However, yeah, managing the interruptions can be a big challenge, especially when it's like hey, mom, will you pay attention to me or go?

Stephanie Fee:

to the bathroom you know, and the dog can't bring itself out to the bathroom, whatever it might be. So, yeah, you know, and the dog can't bring itself out to the bathroom, whatever it might be. So, yeah, yeah, but it's cool that you just said that, because sounds like you know you.

Carissa Andrews:

What you're saying is also like you can use those interruptions and say, all right, it's just springboarding me in another direction and then another idea, instead of like, ah, you interrupted my writing yeah, yeah, because sometimes it's like that interruption is actually, in my opinion, it's like the universe going okay, you're asking for this thing to come, let me give it to you in an easier way, so we're going to just let you have this other thing, interrupt the momentum, I guess, of what you're already doing so that you can have it sooner. You're asking for it sooner, but the way you're doing it right now is not going to give it to you. So here you go, and then you have that choice, that decision to make between do I stay here and continue to fight it or do I just go. Okay, let's go watch the show, or you know, whatever it is, go outside and go for a walk or whatever.

Carissa Andrews:

And sometimes it really is like that, that moment of letting go, it allows in the things that you're asking for, but you have to be aware enough to go oh, I need to let this, I need to let this go and not keep fighting against it. Yeah, yeah, okay. So, with your focus on impact-driven narrative work, how do you see the role of storytelling evolving in the next few years? Like, especially with these interactions with AI, but like do you see it changing and evolving over the next few years?

Stephanie Fee:

I think more than ever, I've never, unless it's like that, you know, once you see an orange car, you see the orange car everywhere, kind of thing, and maybe that's it, but it seems to me that it's. It's so interesting because I would talk about storytelling when I was, you know, working on my own health and wellness and rewriting my story and didn't feel like anybody was talking about it then Interesting.

Stephanie Fee:

Now it's like everywhere I turn, whether it's even branding consultants or marketing consultants everyone uses storytelling, storytelling, storytelling. Everyone uses storytelling, storytelling, storytelling. So for me, in the work that I do outside of just with authors, but storytelling for healing, I do wraparound storytelling frameworks for retreats and different healing experiences that people go through so that they can have a time capsule in a smaller form book of their experience and remember that transformative period of growth. And I think that's where I see the conversation going with a lot of people, whether it's podcasts I'm listening to from various thought leaders or articles on LinkedIn. There's a lot of conversation about the depths of which we tell our stories and the kind of unification of people by doing so and creating that connection and understanding. And so I hope that we go back to the, because this is so ancient. It's like the first way that people were able to understand each other and understand the world around them. That created a connection and I think that kind of got lost and everyone's been kind of lost, and I sense that we're really catapulting forward together. Even though it doesn't feel like that to a lot of people, I really feel like we are in a very cool age of understanding and acknowledgement of like emotions and lived experiences, and that did not exist.

Stephanie Fee:

I'm 44. When I was in high school, like nobody talked about sharing your emotions or your stories, and now there's all these beautiful groups for kids and you know we need more. We need more and we need it to be more accessible, so that people who you know might not have the money to spend on a retreat or whatever have the opportunity. And those are the stories we need to hear the most. Probably are people who didn't have, you know, what some of us maybe had. So, yeah, I see the future really bright and I see this going into places I can't even imagine, to be honest, and and creating a lot, of, a lot of change in the world.

Carissa Andrews:

Yeah, I agree with you. I've seen a lot of it as well. Like the, I think there's probably a little bit of the perception bias, which is a good thing, because the more we want to see what, like, we're looking for the evidence of the things that we're wanting well, and sometimes the evidence of what we're not wanting, based off of the way that our perception is. But, like, when we do start looking for certain aspects of it, that perception bias does show you more of the orange card, or it shows you more of like pregnant ladies because you're pregnant, or it shows you you know whatever it is. But then it it helps us to I don't know, for some of us helps us to know that we are on the right track, like we were, we are doing the right things, we're kind of moving in the right direction, and I agree that, like, while in some ways it looks like everything is, you know, going to hell in a handbasket or it's a big dumpster fire, there are other aspects of it where, if you're looking, you're seeing this level of people rising up, you're seeing the conversation shifting, and it's always been very interesting to me because, as I brought more people like yourself onto this podcast, I'm kind of leaning more into my intuition on who I bring on, and yet there's this common thread of like all of us being very spiritual, even if they didn't say anything about like they're.

Carissa Andrews:

They're coming in here to talk about AI, for instance, or whatever, and then all of a sudden we're talking about how AI can help you get more mindful, like what, or you know. Like all of a sudden, it's like everybody's in this place where we're all kind of coming together to heal, to understand where we're at, to use our emotions in a way that's going to elevate us to new levels. And it's so neat that it's things like what you're doing. It isn't something that a lot of people are talking about or doing yet that I've seen but yet it still ties into everything that I've been teaching and everything that people I've been talking to are doing, and it's like just another wonderful layer to what we as human beings are doing and how we can transcend. It's so cool.

Stephanie Fee:

It is so cool, it's like the coolest. Yes, I like. The other day I I received a couple of you know I I don't um at one point in my life I was like I felt like I needed validation of, like people's happiness to feel like I was successful or something. And I don't need that anymore. I can just very much see, like okay, is it going well? Is it? You know, are they growing? Are they changing? Do they feel happy? And I'll ask them.

Stephanie Fee:

But then some days you get pinged with just this like, oh, like overwhelming sense of like knowing that you're on purpose, like you're just, you're on target. And the other day it was just like a couple of messages like thank you so much for you know I, I wouldn't have said what I wanted to say, I wouldn't have put this out there if I hadn't had, you know, this experience. And I just think that I want everyone to experience what it feels like to say it and to not have to actually have to craft it perfectly at all and say it the way you would say it very casually, in a way that feels like you need to get it out, and then from there, you know, you start to really dig in and learn how you really want to say it, if it's different, but anyway, yeah, I mean I'm always going off on a little tangents here, but really like long time, and so, like, my next question is like how, how is my purpose?

Stephanie Fee:

how is this work going to going to expand? And I don't know. I just asked myself. I've been asking myself that question these past days actually, and then the answers are sort of coming through in various forms. I'm like maybe it's that, maybe it's that, but I think, yeah, I'm really supportive of other people doing this work as well in different ways. So even therapists or people that aren't authors or writers, they're doing work with how people talk to themselves and everything.

Carissa Andrews:

So, anyway, yeah, Well, Stephanie, where can my audience go to find out more about you and all that you do Like? Where, where can they go?

Stephanie Fee:

Yeah, the best way is to go to my website. So it's the wild larynx. Now that means the throat, the voice box, but it's spelled because some people are like what is that and how do you spell it L-A-R-Y-N-X, the wild larynxcom, or I'm on Instagram, and then you can connect with wild larynx on Instagram, as well as Stephanie Lynn, fee F E E. It's a really boring handle, but I mean, it is what it is. That's where you can connect with me.

Carissa Andrews:

Why isn't it the wild larynx?

Stephanie Fee:

Well, there is a wild larynx Instagram account, so it kind of links up with my, with my own, um, okay, yeah, I haven't mastered all the avenues of social media, but I do what I can when I can, and otherwise I'm more focused on the day-to-day stuff. But but yes, thewildearlingscom and thewildearlingscom Instagram, and I'm Stephanie Lynn Fee.

Carissa Andrews:

Wonderful Well, Stephanie, thank you so much for being here and sharing your expertise and your stories today. I know my audience is going to love it. Thank you so much.

Stephanie Fee:

Thanks for inviting me and thank you for the conversation and the great questions. Yeah, hope we keep in touch what an incredible conversation with stephanie.

Carissa Andrews:

I hope you found as much value in it as I did. A huge thank you to stephanie for sharing her wisdom and insights with us today. If you want to dive deeper, the full transcript of our chat, along with the links to stephanie's website and instagram, will be available over at authorrevolutionorg forward slash 250. And before I go, I've got one more exciting thing to share. If you're listening to this, before August 31st 2024, there's still time to sign up for my free webinar, the Breakthrough Moment. It's happening, obviously, august 31st and it's at 1 pm Central Daylight Time, and, trust me, you don't want to miss it. The link to sign up is in the show notes or head over to authorrevolutionorg forward slash breakthrough. Thank you again so much for being a part of this journey with me, and here's to many more episodes to come. Go forth and start your author revolution. Author Revolution you.

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